Fucbois are essentially emotional vampires that feed off of our naivete and nethers. I said it. We let these mofos into our homes and bodies and receive a couple orgasms in exchange. For some of y’all in the throws of their influence, that’s enough. But for those of us who’ve woken up from the spell their dick magic can cast, it’s time we get real about how these mofos remain ever present and relevant.
1. We’re not clear about our boundaries
We accommodate their needs beyond measure. He says no labels and we hear “…for now.” He only seems interested up until the point he ejaculates and we confuse that for interest in us. He texts all the time but seems indifferent to communicating beyond emojiis. His dick holds more knowledge about you than his brain. When we wise up to his bullshit we make him the villain but…it’s not 100% his fault. Honey, he’s definitely an asshole but an asshole you allowed in your life. You weren’t clear about your boundaries or you caved on them. It happens to the best of us but it’s like blood in the water to a shark.
Also, we’ve been conditioned to believe that men make demands, women make requests. One needs to be approved, the other submitted to. I’m here to tell you on tonight, ALLELU! In my best deaconess voice, that that right there? That’s coooooooomplete buuuuuuuuuuuullshit ( there were runs you just couldn’t hear ‘em). You don’t need permission to write the rules for your life. If he leaves, SO WHAT? Honey you will never lack for mofos trying to get into your butter and grits. Add your charisma, grace, and smarts? There will ALWAYS be someone else just around the riverbend. Fucbois depend on you believing that you can’t and won’t do better. You can.
2. We’re not honest with ourselves
Do you know how many times I’ve convinced myself that a guy was good for me when my brain was like, “ABORT. YOU IN DANGER GIRL!” Enough times to write a blog post about it. We convince ourselves that it’s totally cool to move into something without labels knowing full well that we want the labels and they want the context without working for said labels. We want to be claimed, we want to be picked. Let’s get real about it. It makes a lot of us feel good or worthy (and you don’t need a dude to feel that way but that’s another post). We struggle with worthiness and fucbois can smell it on us. So they dangle the carrot (it’s way too easy to make a joke) and we stay stuck in a cycle of giving and giving and giving and giving some more. It’s no lucrative and it’s damn sure not healthy. Fucbois are so good at what they do before long you’ll start treating yourself like you’re the enemy. Save yourself the trouble and don’t fall for their bullshit charms. But what if you already have? What to do then?
This is why I said avoid them to begin with because this is not easy. There are going to be moments when your hormones hijack your brain and you send a “wyd” text because you have needs and before long the cycle starts up again. To avoid this you must take swift and drastic measures while you are sane and not horny. Delete him. Block him. Get a new phone. Fake your death and move to Fiji. Whatever you need to do, do it. Your hormones may be temporarily annoyed but at least you won’t be bothered with his bullshit anymore.
So how do you break the cycle? What do you do to avoid fucbois? What’s your experience been like with them? You know I want to know! Until later loves…